Trying to move on.

I can't believe December is finally here. I love this time of year. It has already been a great time. I was talking to my sister the other day. Actually I was sad again because I really want to have a baby. As I was crying my sister, who is not afraid to tell it like it is :). Well she told me some stuff I already knew, and was listening and telling me it will happen. Being the nice sister that she is. Well she said soemthing that really struck me. She said, maybe God is just waiting for you to get over it and show him you can be happy and are ready to have a baby. I admit I was kind of mad. Cause a miscarriage is something you don't just get over. But I understood what she was trying to say. That God has given me this trial. And he has given it to me to help others. Although I will never "get over it"... I don't think it will ever be something i can forget, I can move on. Cause I have some friends that know how I am feeling . And the feelings you have never go away. It will always be a tender subject for me. I might be sooo happy when I see a little one, and soemtimes I might break down. But that is okay. Just like Forgiveness... you can forgive the person, but you don't ever forget. But I realize that I need to be happy for others, and be happy with myself and I need to live in the present, not the past. If am happy and positive God will realize that I am learning and growing. Yesterday I got to hold my friend angel's baby. She was sooo cute, and sweet and precious!!!!! And it made me sooo excited for when we have our own. Now for those of you who have had a miscarriage or lost a baby. Please know that I am not brushing this aside. Cause believe me it has been a year and I am still grieving it. But know that we do need to move on and continue to live. Anyway Ihave just been thinking about that lately. And I knwo that God knows me and my needs. That he will help me through.